Au revoir

lols I'm not leaving blogging just yet. Well, until I get bored of it, but this is a good way to write about my day in some fashion. No, I'm saying goodbye to my affections for someone important.

I have feelings for people and usually these feelings are not felt the same by the other party. It's a neverending cycle. You almost get good at saying goodbye even though it hurts with a fresh pain each time. People's interests wander, its in their tendency to do so.

I still wish them the best of luck in the future even though I will have no part in it. Just a hopeful spectator striving to make a difference in the world. Alone.

I sound like such a Romantic and Idealist. Old fashioned ideas. They don't even belong to this new century or the Y2K. I bet you haven't heard of that reference in a long time. I remember stupid details, but details that matter to me don't matter to others.

When one door closes, another always opens. Like when tomorrow always comes. I enjoyed my time with this person but I have to be realistic and look toward the future. There's a whole horizon ready for me to explore, even if this person is not in it. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

I'm rambling, its late. I'll leave my mind to rest as tomorrow comes tumbling in. Why am I so poetic tonight, ha? lols

Blech

I hate feeling sick. It always makes me have a bad mood when I really don't want too. And prevents me from going out and having fun with my friends.

I went to a birthday party yesterday. I didn't totally suck at volleyball and could actually hit it back to the other people. Maybe, I am getting better at sports? Except when I hit it outside the pool. I said I'm sorry like fifty times. I felt bad for always making the guy get out and get it. I'm such a clutz.

Immediately after, I felt sick and layed down. I watched a bunch of old Disney show re-runs. Exciting day, but it was fun.

Blessings of Life

"Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing." - Kitou Aya

I finished watching the J-drama, 1 Litre of Tears, based on a diary kept by Kitou Aya as she went through the effects of a degenerative disease. She lost the ability to walk, talk, and move independently on her own. Aya didn't lose hope and kept fighting to live. She always looked for something to live for and was inspiring to others even when she felt like giving up. Even after her death, Aya still inspires others through the diary she wrote everyday. She truly has lived on forever.

Hearing of Aya's bravery in continuing to fight the disease and eagerly wanting to live is amazing. I could never be that strong as a person. I want to be able to help others and make their lives easier. I've always been a burden to others, but I want to change. I want to remain positive and be a source of inspiration for others during their troubled times. Like Aya. I want to follow her example.

The influence of being happy and compassionate can greatly add to others' general well-being. I will strive hard in this and although it will not be easy I will never give up. I have to keep trying to always better myself.

I <3 N Y!

Yup, dance recital matinee. Exciting stuff! My hair feels like its been plastered on with cement but hey it holds. I officially hate straps and other constraining stuff. It hurts too much to even breathe.

My last dance recital as a high schooler. Well, I'm technically not a high schooler, but it was the last after school activity I had during high school, which is now over. I still have voice lessons, but I've always had those and always will, possibly.

Our dance was a lyrical/ballet combination to Jordin Sparks' song "One Step at a Time." Our dresses were a typical lyrical outfit with purple, black, and white split like a triangle or something. I'm bad at describing stuff like that.

Its most possibly my favorite dance I've done in a long time and has a lot of meaning behind the words. I think the message is especially helpful as I move on toward college and the real world as my parents call it.

Most possibly not in Camelot because of interference from dance recital practice. I don't let this stop me, I'll just try for Oliver. One door closes while another always opens. That's my current philosophy and I'm sticking by that rule, world.

Disappointment & Hate

Hate is such a strong word and people throw it around so carelessly. They mistake it for words like dislike or oppose. Hate means you dislike it passionately. Not just a little bit. I wish people knew the distincition sometimes. Ugh. . .

I love my childhood pets. And when one of them is feeling sick, you wanna help them. But if there is nothing you can do, you feel helpless. The approaching death of a faithful dog is heartbreaking and may seem like not a big deal to some people. But, its an animal I saw grow up from a puppy. Seeing her pass away like my old dog will be hard.

And shes not even a person. That's hard to believe.

Yesterday~

I forgot to blog yesterday because I got home late and am making up for it by doing it the next day. That's isn't cheating, right? Didn't think so. lols

There's so many neat stuff you can find locally just by taking a walk in your neighborhood. Destiny was over and we decided to take a walk around and see a scary bunny statue in the park. That's a different story. We found this beautiful sunflower and it captured the moment of the day. I'm not a totally bad photographer. lols

We recorded 45 more seconds for our duo version of "Nobody." It's coming out pretty well. So, we have officially 2 minutes. Expect a preview pretty soon. That's the most we've ever recorded in one day. I still need to fix volumes and stuff but that's not the important part. Yet. . .

After recording "Nobody," for an hour we went to a nearby park (lols another park) and played on the jungle gym like we were little kids. We went down all the slides. I'm proud to say. Then, I epicly failed at a game of volleyball. Your supposed to hit the ball not duck away. I'm a pro at ducking for sho!

4th Fantana

There is the second or first generation of Fantas. There's always different people representing the flavors.

I went to ballet like any other Wednesday night and did our dance like 10 million times in a row. That's a gross exaggeration. Anyway, I was searching through YouTube and saw that Fanta was looking for a fourth commercial girl in their promotional group the Fantanas. The yellow flavored one or lemon, I think.

I'm gonna try out and see what happens. It's not about the accomplishments, but the journey that got you there. My friend Destiny is filming me on Saturday, hopefully I can come up with something good by then.

The Adventures of Ordinary People

My day always starts out normal. Wake up whenever during summer, but 6:30 during the school year. Grab something to eat and then crash on the computer to go on Facebook. The apps on Facebook are sort of entertaining and a "time-suck" which was why Rebecca was totally right. Why did she get me hooked?

I've decided to take random pictures of myself. I'm looking up ward and I thought that was a cool effect on this picture. Its different from my usual peace signs. I'm usually so easy to read but not now. Mwhahaha!

It's been uneventful for the most part. I saw an old friend, Alicia, at my old dance studio. We wrote a story together when I was younger called the Four Mages and were in a group called Kids Alive. Cool stuff! I might see her again soon.

Movie tomorrow with Ashley and going to the mall. I really need some new clothes. Gotta look cool for summer!

Nobody Ballad Version

So, I got bored and decided to finish recording Nobody (Rainstone Mix) - English Version that I started almost a month ago. I added random harmonies and mixed it myself.

That makes me proud and accomplished for the day. The song is originally by the Wonder Girls, an all-female group from Asia. This song is catchy!

You can listen to my version here - http://www.box.net/shared/dt2dv3dyyy

Hit play/save. Whatever works for you. Peace out for the night!

Driving 101

I got a crash course in driving for 3 hours. I haven't gotten my driver's license yet but plan to by the end of June. I have the permit, so don't worry, I'm not being illegal. Well, yet.

Overall, I think I drive pretty well. I just need to work on changing lanes and watching the speed limit. I can't keep going 35 in a 40 zone or so they say.

Last week, I saw UP and kept forgetting to blog about it. Whoops!

This was a really cute movie. Pixar has outdone themselves again. My favorite was the talking dog named. . .well, I forgot his name. But he was really adorable how he kept following after the bird.

I thought the little girl in the beginning was a little boy from the old guy's childhood. I didn't realize it was his wife. Whoops!

The little boy was clueless about boy scouting or whatever he called it. He found a father figure in the old man and they lived happily ever after. Yay, Disney endings!~

Anyways, I also fixed up part of the recording I did with my friend from a few days ago. She came over and we got up to 1:15. We're making progress. I like doing special effects. I might post up a preview soon. It sounds cool!

I have calbacks for Camelot on next Wednesday. Yay! Maybe I should watch Sword in the Stone?

It's kinda fun to be blonde. I had a weird face that day. It was a meh kind of day. My last choir concert. Boo hoo~ Maybe. . .

Ring, Miss Stupid!

Texting a guy first = no bueno! And definantely not the Buono kind either. They don't have the same fashion sense.

Always texting them first = Stop right there and reevaluate what your doing, grl!

Becca is right when she said that when boys don't take the time, then they are "poopie!" That's what cousins are for. Family is closer than a guy ugh.

Anyways, I recorded 40 seconds of a song with a friend yesterday. That was a lot of fun to mess around and just be myself. Not worrying about what people think of me. That's why high school is over. Less drama in the world.

Watched tv for a long time today. Killed a lot of brain cells. What's new over summer!

Still addicted to facebook but not as much. Don't have the urge to update my status as often. Weird!

Phony: Um YES!

Being distanced from high school, you can like see people in a different way. Their faults are magnified by time and you realize how much they used you. And tried to make you fail at whatever you did. How could I let myself be used so badly?

My self-confidence always relied on what they thought of me and that's not how it should be. I need to be stronger and not let them run my life.

Once I let them control me, there will be no individualness of me left. And that's the most important thing I have right now.

Game plan for the day - read an old story I wrote a long time ago and decide why I gave up on writing. Hey, it might be good!